Sunday, 3 February 2013


Look at these guys, they’re smokin’. Yeah man, all sitting on the stoop showing off different ways of smokin’ tabs. There’s the Inside The Hand hardened smoker style (with added frown); the Between The Fingers learner smoker (exhaling through the mouth, not taking it down); and Pout Your Lips (and leave hanging for the photo). These are John The Conqueror, they’re the men, they’re aged 21, and they’re gonna make all you pretty women stand in line. Oh yeah baby, smokin’. Musically – and it took me a long time to summon up the enthusiasm to play it - bluesy bar room rock by numbers. It isn't entirely dreadful - if you like that kinda thing - and The Black Crowesy “Time To Go” is listenable but I’d rather stub cigarettes out on my arm than hear the album again.
John The Conqueror is released on Alive Records.


  1. We were watching some old 1960s TV interviews a while back and it was so obvious how many notable guests smoked and how strange it seemed, in retrospect, to see it so blatantly on our screens...
    I'd all but forgotten those various, and usually studied, smokin' poses (gave up in '86.) But I still love to see one hanging from the corner of a guitarist's mouth, Keef-style, while he's playing, watching those eyes scrunch up as he tries to stop them watering. It's terribly attractive and I don't know why. Sighhh.

  2. At least these guys had the decency to go outside. When folks (Doherty, Weller...) do it on stage nowadays it looks dreadfully contrived.

  3. Back when the Fab's "Anthology" was reissued a pack a day habit mate groused "They've artworked all the ciggies out of their hands in the Anthology ads man, how lame...seeing the Beatles smoke made me wanna smoke when I was a kid". Duh. I figured these guys were lame. They've been staring at me on the back of "Shindig", the name itself was pretty unoriginal. Hmm let's see Black Cat Bones, nah taken...
    Btw when Weller played in NYC over the summer he circumvented the smoking ban by puffing away on one of those silly electronic ciggies........