DECEMBER PLAYLIST

Here goes a fairly random collection of songs. Seek and ye shall find.

1. Roy Brown – “Butcher Pete (Parts 1 & 2)” (1950)
As crazy tales go, this one’s a corker from big voiced Brown. Butcher Pete is “hacking, whacking and smacking” all the women’s meat in town; gets put in the clink where he starts on his cell mate; gets released and a 92 year old woman wants him to chop her meat; goes to church, starts on the pulpit; chops up a ship; gets sent to the electric chair and chops that down too! As Roy concludes, “he’s a maniac”.

2. James Brown – “Chonnie-On-Chon” (1956)
Now children, let’s not forget the 25th of December marks an important day. It’s when – three years ago – Brother James became what he ate: angel dust. Show your respects by getting on the good foot to this lively rocker taken from only his second ever session.

3. King Coleman – “Loo-key, Doo-key” (1960)
This record has been described as a “tittyshaker”. Please, be my guest.

4. Ben E. King – “Ecstasy” (1962)
“Take me by the hand and lead me to the land of ecstasy”, begs Mr King. Highly amusing.

5. Yvonne Baker – “You Didn’t Say A Word” (1966)
It’s impossible to be tired of some records. This is one. Listed at number three in the Northern Soul Top 500 book and that intro still brings a rush of excitement and a stampede to the dancefloor.

6. The Disillusioned Younger Generation – “Who Do You Think You’re Foolin’” (1967)
The award for best band name goes to these teenage folk rockers who jingle-jangled their way through one 45 before disappearing off the face of the earth.

7. The Velvet Underground – “After Hours” (1969)
I’d not played the Velvets properly for years until last weekend and had completely forgotten this sweet Mo Tucker sung track at the end of their third album. Lovely.

8. Clarence Carter – “Back Door Santa” (1969)
Fuck The X-Factor versus Rage Against The Machine, no festive song can hold a candle to Carter’s greasy claim of making little girls happy as he comes in their back door.

9. Little Richard – “Money Is” (1972)
“There’s only one thing that money can’t buy – and that is poverty”. Little Dick’s throbbing super-charged ode to the almighty dollar hits the spot other flare grooves cannot reach.

10. The Cribs – “I’m Alright Me” (2005)
Yes, you are.

THE CRIBS at BRIXTON ACADEMY

Adding Johnny Marr to The Cribs line-up didn’t make huge sense in the beginning. His first gigs had him busking rather than adding, but he’s all over Ignore The Ignorant and now has woven his magic into their older songs, throwing his instantly recognisable flourishes into the abrasive commotion of the three Jarman brothers . Whilst the Jarmans launch themselves into every song as if it’s their last – sometimes literally into the crowd - Marr brings some understated style to proceedings: well dressed, legs slightly apart, guitar held at just the correct angle and height, a flick of the wrist, a slight tilt of the head, and a haircut to die for. All important stuff which hasn’t yet rubbed off on Ryan, who stubbornly wears the mum-cut-around-the-pudding-bowl hair “style” which would have caused instant playground bullying when I were a lad.

It’s not all dandy though. Ignore The Ignorant is at best an indifferent album and they play a sizeable chunk of it tonight. The Cribs are at their most striking when they’re full of boisterous bile, mixing punk playing with brusque terrace chants and hooks. If they can fit a “whooah” into a song they will. If they can’t, they’ll make another word sound like a “whooah”. It’s a simple yet effective trick. Many of the newer songs have fluidity but none of the urgency. They’re improved by the live setting but whereas you could hit shuffle on The New Fellas or Men’s Needs, Women’s Needs, Whatever and be guaranteed a great, the odds are significantly longer on the new album.

However, let’s not be too grumpy because it’s still a set bursting with rollicking highlights: “I’m A Realist”, “Hey Scenesters!”, “Our Bovine Public”, “Mirror Kissers”, “The Wrong Way To Be”, “Men’s Needs” etc from the back catalogue plus “We Share The Same Skies” and “We Were Aborted” the stand out two from the newie. It’s curious the Jam-like “Victim of Mass Production” didn’t make it but this is tempered by the inclusion of “Direction”, which is transformed from filler material from their 2004 debut into a savage beast of a song that rattles the walls and shivers the bones.

SEPTEMBER PLAYLIST

Some songs for September.

1. Richard Wylie and His Band – “Money (That’s What I Want)” (1960)
Barrelhouse piano, a crazy mixed up melody, and bendy guitar lick so sneaky it’ll reach deep inside the tightest confines of your pocket and pinch your last dime without you even noticing.

2. Tubby Hayes – “The Late One” (1961)
Tenor virtuosity from the Tubster as he leads his quartet with lightning fingers and a lairy shirt.

3. The Miracles – “I’ll Try Something New” (1962)
Call a doctor, there’s been a severe case of Smokey fever sweeping through Monkey Mansions this month.

4. Dave Berry – “Don’t Gimme Me No Lip Child” (1964)
Berry’s meaty, beaty, big and bouncy bombshell must’ve taken a few teenyboppers by surprise when they flipped over his “Crying Game”.

5. The Byrds – “Why” (1966)
The version on the B side of “Eight Miles High” was recorded a year before the Younger Than Yesterday one, and contains a far groovier wigged out raga bit in the middle.

6. Lou Ragland – “Since You Said You’d Be Mine” (1973)
Paying Our Dues is one of my favourite Kent compilations and as Ady Croasdell perceptively notes on the sleeve the lyric “I’m three times happier than the law allows me to be” is pure class. Remixed by John Cale. That John Cale?

7. Pissed Jeans – “Ashamed Of My Cum” (2005)
Yes, there really is a band called Pissed Jeans, and yes, they really do have a song called “Ashamed Of My Cum”. Not quite X-Factor material unless Simon Cowell sees pound signs in the sound of starving apes trapped in a recording studio taunted by the sight of food waved at the window. Is that a recommendation? Only if you’re thirteen and looking to piss off your parents.

8. The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart – The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart LP (2009)
Once upon a time, back in the late 80’s, indie meant indie. The girls had bobs and cute button noses and the more astute boys yearned to look like Sterling Morrison. Distorted guitars would wash over Spectoresque drums, waves of sound and melodies would dreamily float in and out the fuzz, and earnest young fanzine writers would sit in their bedrooms armed with cheap typewriters, scissors and Pritt-Stick as John Peel played another Mongolian import. Ah, sweet memories.

9. The Cribs – Ignore The Ignorant LP (2009)
Oh dear, what’s happened to The Cribs? They’ve now all the bite of a dog with its teeth removed. And it probably seemed such a great idea getting Johnny Marr to join. He sprinkles his nice fancy Marrisms over the new album, but if you sprinkle sugar over a turd it’ll still taste of shit.

10. The Lemonheads – “Layin’ Up With Linda” (Live at the Forum, Saturday 19th September 2009)
Yep, they’re still going and last Saturday, with the grungeometer turned to ten, they beat the buggery out of their fabulous back catalogue and threw in some new ones like this cover of GG Allin’s chucklesome tale of killing his girlfriend.