Wednesday, 25 November 2009


What’s been hitting the decks in Monkey Mansions this month?

1. The Righteous Brothers – “Little Latin Lupe Lu” (1965)
Forget “Unchained Melody”, this is precisely two minutes of furious frugging that neither Simon Cowell or that slobbered face fuckwit Louis Walsh would ever dream of giving to one of their lobotomized freaks.

2. David John and the Mood – “Bring It To Jerome” (1965)
All the beat bands of the mid-60’s snuck this Bo Diddley song in their set but none quite as snottily as David John and the Mood. Joe Meek helped the recording by using the sound of a bog chain in a biscuit tin. Honest.

3. Eddie and Ernie – “Indication” (1966)
Credited to a mysterious Eddie and Ernie but only one (don’t know which) can be heard here. Whoever it is pleads with their aching soul for an indication their love will come back. Don’t reckon it worked but I’m appreciating their efforts.

4. Albert Ayler – Music Is The Healing Force Of The Universe LP (1969)
I can live with any amount of free-form honking jazz baloney. I can even deal with the sound of bagpipes being trampled underfoot by herds of wildebeest marauding majestically across the hillside. But when Al’s old lady starts shrieking happy clappy hippy bullshit over the top, it’s torture like you’ve never heard.

5. Five Thirty – “Psycho Cupid” (1991)
It can be no coincidence that Five Thirty’s premature demise coincided with Paul Bassett’s discovery of the dubious joys of the purple velour catsuit. Thankfully, before disappearing up their arses they left behind a treasure throve of goodies including this modishly punky gem.

6. Pete Molinari – “Indescribably Blue” (2006)
Funny how you can go off people. Molinari’s recent sickly covers EP had me gagging so hard on my own cheesy puke I never managed to get to the end of it. We’ll call it an indulgent blip because listening again to the infinitely more heartstring tugging folk of “Indescribably Blue” I can feel myself softening.

7. Black Crowes – “I Ain’t Hiding” (2009)
Who’s been tampering with the Crowes’ time machine? Stuck on 1973 for 20 years, some mischievous scamp has punched in 1978 forcing them to spend six minutes boogying in a glitzy New York disco.

8. Girls – “Lust For Life” (2009)
Not the Iggy song, and not girls either, but a reassuringly cheapo plug-in-and-go pop combo. The first half of their Album is a joy.

9. Brett Anderson – Slow Attack LP (2009)
There’s a song playing on the radio” sang the arse slapping one during those halcyon Suede days yet there’s little danger of anything from Slow Attack filling the airwaves on the morning show. You’re more likely to hear it at Jemima’s dinner party as she serves up a Dome of Nougatine filled with Creme Brulee with lightly poached apricots.

10. Bob Dylan – “Hark The Herald Angels Sing” (2009)
I swear this is the funniest and greatest Christmas record ever recorded. I bet you can’t even listen to the first five words without pissing yourself. Mr Dylan – you remain an utter genius. I salute you.

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